The Kind Leader: A Practical Guide to Eliminating Fear, Creating Trust, and Leading with Kindness
- Length: 218 pages
- Edition: 1
- Language: English
- Publisher: Productivity Press
- Publication Date: 2021-09-10
- ISBN-10: 0367693437
- ISBN-13: 9780367693435
- Sales Rank: #0 (See Top 100 Books)
Kindness and leadership aren’t often synonymous. Ask someone to describe “good leadership” to you and you will hear many adjectives used: authentic, bold, challenging, charismatic, decisive, empowering, fearless, goal-oriented, humble, inspiring, original, passionate, role-model, strategic and transparent, to name of a few. And though there are many more that come to mind, kindness isn’t one of them. And here’s the problem with that. Leaders lead. And the way a leader leads – how they do what they do – influences those they lead. From the President of the country, to the president of a company, from middle managers, right down to front-line supervisors, what a leader models – how they think, speak and act – influences the people they lead. Leaders who think, speak and act unkindly give legitimacy and permission to those they lead to think, speak and act in exactly the same unkind ways. Today, in a world where a leaders’ words and actions travel quickly through social media channels such as Twitter, their influence – unkind or kind – is amplified through repeated views and sharing. In an increasingly fragmented, polarized and divided world, we need leaders who will bring people together not divide them. Leaders who value and model cooperation and collaboration over competition. And who model ways to think kindly, speak kindly and act kindly. We need kindness to become synonymous with good leadership. So that when someone is asked to describe the traits of a good leader, kindness will be the first word that comes to mind. Essentially, the purpose of this book is to teach leaders how to lead with kindness so they can influence the people they lead to create kinder workplaces, organizations and the world. Each chapter contains a mixture of theory, case studies and reflections from leaders and the people they influence. As well, the book follows the fictional stories of Kay’La Janson and Kevin Landrell, as they become leaders in a failing organization that is ultimately turned around through kind leadership. Between chapters there are a series of practical exercises based on concepts presented in the previous chapter with space to record outcomes and reflections on the practice process. This book gives you a deep theoretical understanding of the importance of leading with kindness and also provides practical exercises for you to use to turn theory into practice. Because “change means doing things differently,” and because we only really “learn by doing” to create kinder organizations, kinder communities and a kinder world, leaders must be able to begin practicing kindness right away. By the time you finish the book, you will feel confident in your ability to lead with kindness and also to address organizational problems at work, at home and in the community, with kindness.
Cover Half Title Title Page Copyright Page Table of Contents Preface With Kind Thanks Chapter 1 Isn’t Kindness a Sign of Weakness? Discussion: Kind Leader Theory and Ideas for You to Think About Defining Leadership Defining Kindness Empathy Compassion Kindness Assumptions, Systems and Models Frame Thoughts, Feelings and Actions Change the Outcome By Changing the Model People Create Models and Systems Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts Into Action Exercise 1: Recognizing When I’m a Leader and When I’m a Follower Exercise 2: Seeing How I’m Leading With Kindness Now Exercise 3: Making the Models That Frame My Thoughts and Actions Visible Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios A Tale of Two First Days Scenario 1 – Kay’La’s Story: Does It Really Have to Be ‘Unkind’ at the Top? Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Scenario 2 – Kevin’s Story: ‘You Can’t Teach an Old Customer Service Rep New Tricks’… Can You? Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Chapter 1 Kind-Points Notes Chapter 2 The Five Key Characteristics of a Kind Leader Discussion: Kind Leadership Starts With You Leaders’ Actions Create Culture Kind Leaders Lead By Kind Example Key Characteristic 1: Kind Leaders Actively Model Kind Behavior Key Characteristic 2: Kind Leaders Deliberately Think, Speak and Act Kindly Kind Leaders Are ‘People’ (Not ‘Things’) Oriented Key Characteristic 3: Kind Leaders Consider Others First Key Characteristic 4: Kind Leaders Reflect Deeply About Their Actions Kind Leaders Pay Attention to ‘How We Get There’ Not Just ‘Where We Are Going’ Key Characteristic 5: Kind Leaders Focus on the Means Keep the Five Key Characteristics in Mind Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts Into Action Exercise 1: How Do Organizational Values and Leadership Behaviors Match? Exercise 2: How Do the Five Key Characteristics Apply to You? Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios Do As I ‘Say’ and As I Do! Scenario 1: Kay’La’s Story: What Does Respect Look Like? Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Scenario 2: Kevin’s Story: “All’s Well That ‘Ends’ Well”? Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Chapter 2 Kind-Points Notes Chapter 3 Why How We Get There Is as Important as Where We Are Going Discussion: The Kind of Culture You Have Depends on the Kind of Leader You Are Leaders Who Focus on the Ends Only Can Create a Culture of Fear Kindness and Fear Don’t Go Together! Leaders Who Focus on the Means Can Create a Culture of Trust Together, Trust and Kindness Can Lead to Greater Happiness Why Kind Leadership and “Leaving People Alone” Don’t Go Together What About the ‘Results’ Though? How Do You Get From a Culture of Fear to a Culture of Trust and Kindness? Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts Into Action Exercise 1: Negative Effects of an Ends-Focused Culture on Fear Exercise 2: Positive Effects of a Means-Focused Culture on Trust Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios Trust Comes From Spending Time Together Scenario 1: Kay’La’s Story: What Are You Afraid Of? And Why? Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Scenario 2: Kevin’s Story: ‘Seeing Is Believing … and Trusting!’ Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Chapter 3 Kind-Points Notes Chapter 4 Think Kindly: Kind Leaders Assume Positive Intent Discussion: Kind Leadership Takes Practice Thinking Kindly Is the First of Three Key Kind Leader Practices Think Kindly Behavior 1: Always Assume Positive Intent Think Kindly Behavior 2: Check Your Thoughts Frequently Think Kindly Behavior 3: Consciously Change Unkind Thoughts to Kind Ones Kind Leaders Have Best Interests at Heart! Thinking Kindly Focuses Leaders on Others Kind Leaders Think Kindly About Themselves as Well Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts Into Action Exercise 1: Always Assume Positive Intent: Recognizing Negative First Impression Bonus Exercise Exercise 2: Check Your Thoughts Frequently: Making Unkind Thoughts Conscious Bonus Exercise Exercise 3: Change Unkind Thoughts to Kind Ones Bonus Exercise Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios Practicing Thinking Kindly Takes Practice Scenario 1: Kay’La’s Story: If at First You Don’t Think Kindly … Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Scenario 2: Kevin’s Story: ‘Think, Think Again …’ Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Chapter 4 Kind-Points Notes Chapter 5 Speak Kindly: Use Words of Encouragement and Growth Discussion – Words Matter: Choose and Use Yours Kindly Speaking Kindly Is the Second of The Three Key Kind Leader Practices Speak Kindly Behavior 1: Choose Your Words Kindly Leaders’ Words Travel Far, Fast and Carry a Lot of Weight What Kind of Words Are Kind? Speak Kindly Behavior 2: Use a Kind Tone of Voice Speak Kindly Behavior 3: If It’s Not Kind, Don’t Say It! Kind Leaders Practice the Basics: Say Please, Thank You and I’m Sorry Speaking Kindly Ties Thoughts to Actions Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts Into Action Exercise 1: Becoming Conscious of Your Words Exercise 2: Deliberately Replacing Unkind Words With Kind Ones Exercise 3: Is Your Body Language Kind Or Not? Exercise 4: Deliberately Replacing Unkind Words With Kind Ones Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios Practice Speaking Kindly Because Your Words Create Your Followers’ World Scenario 1 – Kay’La’s Story: If You Use ‘Fighting Words’ Don’t Be Surprised If You Get a Fight! Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Scenario 2 – Kevin’s Story: ‘I Don’t Want to Believe My Ears …’ Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Chapter 5 Kind-Points Notes Chapter 6 Act Kindly: Kind Leaders Put Humanity First Discussion: Kind Leaders Lead By Kind Example Acting Kindly Is the Third of The Three Key Kind Leader Practices Act Kindly Behavior 1: Check in With People, Not on Them Get to Know Your People as People Kind Leaders Spend Their Time Checking in With People Checking in With People Creates a Culture of Trust Act Kindly Behavior 2 – Listen: With Open Eyes, Open Ears, Open Mind and an Open Heart Listen With Open Eyes Listen With Open Ears Keep Your Ears Pricked for Signals of Culture of Fear and Unkindness Listen With an Open Mind Listen With an Open Heart Act Kindly Behavior 3: Recognize Others Recognize the Means Instead of the Ends Recognize People for Who They Are as People Leading By Kind Example Creates a World of Kindness One Last Thought… Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts Into Action Exercise 1: How Well Do You Know Your People as People? Exercise 2: How Are You Spending Your Precious Time? Exercise 3: Listening With Open Eyes and Open Ears Exercise 4: Listening With Open Mind and an Open Heart Exercise 5: Recognizing Your People Means Saying Thank You for Their Effort Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios Leading By Kind Example Leads to Leading By Kind Example Scenario – Kay’La and Kevin’s Stories: There’s Always a Way to Lead By Kind Example… Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Chapter 6 Kind-Points Notes Chapter 7 Collaboration, Cooperation and Kindness, Not Competition Discussion – Beyond Win–Win: A World of Kindness The Kind Leadership Continuum Competition: Win–Lose Interactions Two-sides – Division – Divisiveness – Fear – Distrust Here’s What to Look for Here’s What to Do Collaboration: Interactions Based on ‘Buy-In’ Buy-in – Opt-Out – Two Sides – Compromise – Separate Here’s What to Look for Here’s What to Do What to Look for Here’s What to Do Harmony – Connection – Unity – Together – As One Cooperation: Interactions Based on ‘Win–Win’ Kindness: Interacting Beyond ‘Win–Win’ Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts Into Action Exercise 1: How Competitive Is Your Organization? How Competitive Are You? Exercise 2: Collaboration? Cooperation? Do You Recognize Both? Exercise 3: Creating a World of Kind Interactions Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios Competition and Fear Don’t Go With Kindness Scenario – Kay’La and Kevin’s Stories: Together, as One, With Kindness, We Can Break the Vicious Cycle of Fear and Competition Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Chapter 7 Kind-Points Notes Chapter 8 When Things Don’t Go Kindly Discussion: Kind Leadership Is the Answer The Top Three Reasons Unkindness Happens The Five Steps Kind Leaders Take When Things Don’t Go Kindly True Stories of Unkindness and What Kind Leaders Did About It Story 1: Think Kindly Story 2: Speak Kindly Story 3: Act Kindly There’s No Such Thing as ‘Cruel To Be Kind’ … If It’s Not Kind, Don’t Do It Failures of Leadership and Failures of Kindness Have Terrible Consequences for Us All Practice: Practical Exercises to Use to Turn Your Thoughts Into Action Exercise 1: How Do You Respond To Unkindness Currently? Exercise 2: How Could You Have Used the Five Steps to Respond Differently? Exercise 3: Deliberately Practicing the Five Steps Reflection: What Would You Do? Kind Leader Practice Scenarios Kind Leadership Is the Answer to Creating a Culture of Trust Scenario 1 – Kay’La’s Story: It’s Not the End, It’s Just the Beginning! Scenario 2 – Kevin’s Story: Everything Is Kind in the End. If It Isn’t Kind, It’s Not the End! Now It’s Your Turn to Reflect and Apply Chapter 8 Kind-Points Notes Conclusion The Time for Kind Leadership Is Now Notes The Three Key Kind Leadership Practices and Their Behaviors 1. Think Kindly 2. Speak Kindly 3. Act Kindly The Kind Leadership Continuum The Five Key Steps Kind Leaders Take When Things Don’t Go Kindly Notes Some Additional Resources to Help Deepen Your Practice Index
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